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Funny Cross Stitch Patterns

Cross stitch patterns do not always have to be flowers and rainbows. These funny cross stitch patterns are a joy stitch up and they will make everyone smile.

Funny Counted Cross Stitch Patterns
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“Everyone stop whatever you're doing and only pay attention to me." - Shawn Spencer / Psych

I do not like stitching serious cross stitch designs. Geeky and funny cross stitch patterns are the only way to go. If you like sarcastic and humorous cross stitch patterns, I think you will enjoy this list I have gathered.




I have included 17 funny cross stitch patterns. If it made me laugh, I included it. There are all types of counted cross stitch patterns from cartoons to quotes.


17 Funny Cross Stitch Patterns


1. EMOTIONAL SUPPORT SHARK CROSS STITCH PATTERN - FUNNY SHARK CROSS STITCH CHART - SILLY CROSS STITCH PATTERNS - CUTE ANIMAL PATTERN

This fun cross stitch pattern cracks me up. I absolutely love it. If you love sharks or know someone that is, this would be a quick and easy project to work on.


The funny cross stitch pattern was designed to be stitched on 14, 16, 18, 20, or 22 count Aida cross stitch fabric with DMC floss. It is 103 stitches x 53 stitches.


Emotional Support Shark Funny Counted Cross Stitch Patterns

2. BIG FOOT CROSS STITCH PATTERN HIDE AND SEEK CHAMPION PDF PRINTABLE PATTERN FILE

The undeniable hide and seek champion has to be Bigfoot. Are you a Bigfoot enthusiast or know someone that is? This would be a fun pattern to complete.


The funny cross stitch pattern is perfect for beginners, but also a great simple pattern for the seasoned cross stitcher. The pattern is 131 stitches x 134 stitches. Completed on 14 count Aida cross stitch fabric, the Bigfoot cross stitch pattern will fit a 9.5” diameter hoop.


Big Foot Hide and Seek Champion Funny Counted Cross Stitch Patterns

3. BOB'S BURGERS TERRIBLE FAMILY CROSS STITCH PATTERN

Are you a fan of Bob’s Burgers? The Belcher family is surely one of a kind. If your family is a little messed up too, this pattern is for you.


Bob's Burgers Funny Counted Cross Stitch Patterns



4. BLINKY CROSS STITCH PATTERN - FUNNY CROSS STITCH PATTERN - MEME FISH, BLINKY THE THREE EYED FISH

The Simpsons are another messed-up family. And Springfield is just as bad. Take Blinky the three-eyed fish for example. It may be cute, but who would want to eat a mutant fish? This design would make the perfect addition to a bedroom, kitchen, or bathroom.


The Simpsons cross stitch pattern is stitched on 14 count Aida cross stitch fabric with 3 colors of DMC cross stitch thread. It is a fairly simple pattern that only used full cross stitches.


Blinky 3 Eyed Fish The Simpsons Cross Stitch Patterns Funny

5. POOP CROSS STITCH PATTERN, FUNNY REVIEW TEXT EMBROIDERY DESIGN, EASY PATTERN, INSTANT DOWNLOAD PDF, HOME DECOR, BATHROOM DECORATION

Are you looking for a funny cross stitch pattern for your bathroom? This one is super easy and hysterical. You will get a lot of laughs from your guests.


The Would Poop Here Again cross stitch for beginners is 95 stitches wide x 52 stitches high. It can be stitched on 14, 16, 18, or 20 count Aida cross stitch fabric.


Would Poop Here Again Bathroom Funny Counted Cross Stitch Patterns

6. IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED! CROSS STITCH PATTERN FUNNY / FUNNY WINE CROSS STITCH PATTERN / SUBVERSIVE CROSS STITCH

This is the ideal funny cross stitch pattern to stitch for a Mother’s Day gift. Or stitch it for yourself, and maybe people will finally take the hint.


This counted cross stitch pattern was designed for 14 count Aida cross stitch fabric. However, you can stitch it on 14,16,18,20, or 22 count Aida fabric. The stitch count is 134 stitches wide x 85 stitches tall.

Sarcastic If at First You Dont Succeed Funny Counted Cross Stitch Patterns

7. I DON'T WANT TO LIVE ON THIS PLANET ANYMORE CROSS STITCH PATTERN

How about this Professor Farnsworth Futurama cross stitch pattern? This pattern features the infamous line, “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”


This funny cross stitch pattern is designed to remain in the hoop when completed. However, it can be taken out and framed. The PDF pattern is 4 pages long.


Futurama Characters Professor Farnsworth Funny Counted Cross Stitch Patterns

8. NED FLANDERS CAN'T HANDLE ME PDF COUNTED CROSS STITCH PATTERN. IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE ME AT MY DIDLIEST CROSS STITCH . FUNNY MEME PATTERN.

I think we all know who this loveable Springfield resident is. This funny cross stitch pattern features the annoyingly loveable Ned Flanders.


Completed, The Simpsons cross stitch pattern will measure about 9.43” wide x 9.14” tall. It is 132 stitches x 128 stitches.


Ned Flanders The Simpsons Funny Cross Stitch Patterns

9. SNARKY CROSS STITCH PATTERN, "IN DOG YEARS YOU ARE DEAD ", INSTANT DOWNLOAD PDF, WALL HOME DECOR, DIGITAL PDF PATTERN

Are you looking for a sarcastic cross stitch pattern for someone with a great sense of humor? Check out this easy pattern. The pattern features the quote, “In dog years you are DEAD. Happy Birthday!”


There are 11 colors of DMC floss used. You can stitch the design on 14, 16, 18, or 20 count Aida cross stitch fabric.


In Dog Years You Are Dea Happy Birthday Funny Counted Cross Stitch Patterns


10. FUNNY FAT CAT CROSS STITCH PATTERN FOR BEGINNERS - NEEDLEPOINT KITS - EMBROIDERY - ANIMAL - MODERN DECOR - PDF INSTANT DOWNLOAD -EASY-PT-482

If you have a cat, there is a very good chance it is the boss of the house. This would be a cute picture to hang near the cat’s food bowl. It is a cute pattern for those learning how to cross stitch.


To complete this Where’s My Food, Slave cat cross stitch pattern, you will need 14, 16, or 18 count Aida cross stitch fabric and 3 colors of DMC cross stitch thread.

Cat Wheres My Food Slave Funny Counted Cross Stitch Patterns

11. BACON CROSS STITCH PATTERN, CANDY NEEDLEPOINT, MEAT GROUP EMBROIDERY, FUNNY PDF PATTERN, HUMOROUS DIGITAL DOWNLOAD, FOOD XSTITCH PATTERN

Is bacon one of the major food groups in your home? If so, this would be a funny cross stitch pattern to hang in your kitchen. Celebrate your love of this wonderful food with this digital counted cross stitch pattern.


The counted cross stitch pattern is stitched on 14 count white Aida cross stitch fabric. You will need 6 colors of DMC cross stitch thread.


Bacon the candy of the meat group Funny Counted Cross Stitch Patterns

12. BOB'S BURGERS SARCASM CROSS STITCH PATTERN

If you are a beginner, you shouldn’t have any problem stitching this Louise Belcher, I Don’t Appreciate Your Lack of Sarcasm counted cross stitch. Completed, the Bob’s Burgers pattern is 57 stitches wide x 73 stitches high. It is stitched on 14 count Aida cross stitch fabric.


Bobs Burgers Louise Belcher I Dont Appreciate Your Sarcasm Funny Counted Cross Stitch Patterns

13. COFFEE BECAUSE MURDER IS WRONG CROSS STITCH PATTERN. SNARKY CROSS STITCH PDF. EASY SARCASTIC CROSS STITCH. FUNNY COUNTED CROSS STITCH CHART.

If you are like me, you need your coffee before anyone can speak to you. If you understand exactly what I mean, then this funny cross stitch pattern is for you.


This is a beginner-friendly funny counted cross stitch pattern. The pattern only uses full cross stitches. This finished coffee cross stitch pattern will measure approximately 4” wide x 5.5” tall when stitched on 14 count Aida.


Coffee Because Murder is Wrong Funny Cross Stitch Patterns

14. I'M ONLY HERE TO ESTABLISH MY ALIBI CROSS STITCH PATTERN

Do you watch a lot of true crime shows? Then this funny cross stitch pattern is for you.


To make this I’m only here to establish my alibi counted cross stitch pattern, you only need two colors of DMC cross stitch thread and 14 count Aida cross stitch fabric. The completed design will measure about 9.3” wide x 8.6” high.


Im Only Here to Establish My Alibi Funny Counted Cross Stitch Patterns

15. ASTRONAUT ON A DINOSAUR CROSS STITCH PATTERN T REX EMBROIDERY SPACE GALAXY THEME CROSS STITCH TYRANNOSAURUS XSTITCH KIDS ROOM WALL DECOR

I have absolutely no words for this amazing cross stitch pattern. This wonderful piece features an astronaut riding a dinosaur in outer space.


The funny cross stitch pattern is 130 stitches x 125 stitches. It only requires full cross stitches.


Astronaut riding a dinosaur in space funny cross stitch patterns


16. HOMER IN THE BUSHES CROSS STITCH PATTERN - FUNNY CROSS STITCH PATTERN - MEME, HOMER BACKING INTO HEDGE.

Here is a The Simpsons cross stitch pattern based on the Homer in the Bushes meme. We have all wanted to shrink back into the bushes and become invisible at one point in time.


This Homer Simpson cross stitch pattern is designed to be stitched on 14 count Aida cross stitch fabric. It is 82 stitches x 88 stitches.


Homer Simpson in a Bush The Simpsons Funny Counted Cross Stitch Patterns

17. WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD CROSS STITCH PATTERN INSTANT DOWNLOAD [CROSS STITCH, NEEDLEPOINT, EMBROIDERY, CROSS PATTERN]

This would make a great gift for a Star Wars fan. This Darth Vader Warning: Choking Hazard pattern is easy to complete.


This funny cross stitch pattern can be used with any color and count of Aida cross stitch fabric. DMC floss colors are referenced on the pattern. If you use 14 count Aida fabric, the final design will measure 7.79” wide x 3.57” high.


Star Wars Characters Darth Vader Choking Hazard Funny Counted Cross Stitch Patterns


HAVE FUN STITCHING UP SOME OF THESE FUNNY CROSS STITCH PATTERNS.






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