Funny Cross Stitch Patterns

Cross stitch patterns do not always have to be flowers and rainbows. These funny cross stitch patterns are a joy to make everyone smile.

Funny Counted Cross Stitch Patterns

“Everyone stop whatever you're doing and only pay attention to me" - Shawn Spencer / Psych

I do not like stitching serious cross stitch designs. Geeky and funny cross stitch patterns are the only way to go. If you like sarcastic and humorous cross stitch patterns, I think you will enjoy this list I have gathered.




I have included 17 funny cross stitch patterns. If it made me laugh, I included it. There are all types of counted cross stitch patterns from cartoons to quotes.


17 Funny Cross Stitch Patterns


1. HEN & EGGS , COUNTED CROSS STITCH, PATTERN PDF, CROSS STITCH CHART , CUTE CROSS STITCH, CROSS STITCH PATTERN, PIXEL ART, 0212

This fun chicken and the egg cross stitch pattern cracks me up every time I see it. I absolutely love it.


The funny cross stitch pattern was designed to be stitched on 14 count Aida cross stitch fabric with DMC floss. It is 165 stitches x 96 stitches. Completed, it will measure approximately 11.79” x 6.86”.


2. BIG FOOT CROSS STITCH PATTERN HIDE AND SEEK CHAMPION PDF PRINTABLE PATTERN FILE

The undeniable hide and seek champion has to be Bigfoot. Are you a Bigfoot enthusiast or know someone that is? This would be a fun pattern to complete.


The funny cross stitch pattern is perfect for beginners, but also a great simple pattern for the seasoned cross stitcher. The pattern is 131 stitches x 134 stitches. Completed on 14 count Aida cross stitch fabric, the Bigfoot cross stitch pattern will fit a 9.5” diameter hoop.


3. BOB'S BURGERS TERRIBLE FAMILY CROSS STITCH PATTERN

Are you a fan of Bob’s Burgers? The Belcher family is surely one of a kind. If your family is a little messed up too, this pattern is for you.


The Bob's Burgers cross stitch pattern is 86 stitches high by 92 stitches wide. If you use 14 count Aida cross stitch fabric the completed project will measure roughly 6.57” X 6.14”. It only requires 4 colors of DMC floss.





4. BLINKY CROSS STITCH PATTERN - FUNNY CROSS STITCH PATTERN - MEME FISH, BLINKY THE THREE EYED FISH

The Simpsons are another messed-up family. And Springfield is just as bad. Take Blinky the three-eyed fish for example. It may be cute, but who would want to eat a mutant fish? This design would make the perfect addition to a bedroom, kitchen, or bathroom.


The Simpsons cross stitch pattern is stitched on 14 count Aida cross stitch fabric with 3 colors of DMC cross stitch thread. It is a fairly simple pattern that only used full cross stitches.


5. POOP CROSS STITCH PATTERN, FUNNY REVIEW TEXT EMBROIDERY DESIGN, EASY PATTERN, INSTANT DOWNLOAD PDF, HOME DECOR, BATHROOM DECORATION

Are you looking for a funny cross stitch pattern for your bathroom? This one is super easy and hysterical. You will get a lot of laughs from your guests.


The Would Poop Here Again cross stitch for beginners is 95 stitches wide x 52 stitches high. It can be stitched on 14, 16, 18, or 20 count Aida cross stitch fabric.


6. IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED! CROSS STITCH PATTERN FUNNY / FUNNY WINE CROSS STITCH PATTERN / SUBVERSIVE CROSS STITCH

This is the ideal funny cross stitch pattern to stitch for a Mother’s Day gift. Or stitch it for yourself, and maybe people will finally take the hint.


This counted cross stitch pattern was designed for 14 count Aida cross stitch fabric. However, you can stitch it on 14,16,18,20, or 22 count Aida fabric. The stitch count is 134 stitches wide x 85 stitches tall.


7. I DON'T WANT TO LIVE ON THIS PLANET ANYMORE CROSS STITCH PATTERN

How about this Professor Farnsworth Futurama cross stitch pattern? This pattern features the infamous line, “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”


This funny cross stitch pattern is designed to remain in the hoop when completed. However, it can be taken out and framed. The PDF pattern is 4 pages long.


8. LINDA'S ASHES CROSS STITCH PATTERN

Here is another funny Bob’s Burgers cross stitch pattern. It features Linda Belcher and one of her many hysterical quotes. It says, “When I die, I want you to cremate me and throw me in Tom Selleck’s face.” This would make a great gift for a Bob’s Burgers fan, or someone that is in love with Tom Selleck.


Completed, the Bob’s Burgers cross stitch pattern will measure about 7.8” wide x 9.1” tall.


9. SNARKY CROSS STITCH PATTERN, "IN DOG YEARS YOU ARE DEAD ", INSTANT DOWNLOAD PDF, WALL HOME DECOR, DIGITAL PDF PATTERN

Are you looking for a sarcastic cross stitch pattern for someone with a great sense of humor? Check out this easy pattern. The pattern features the quote, “In dog years you are DEAD. Happy Birthday!”


There are 11 colors of DMC floss used. You can stitch the design on 14, 16, 18, or 20 count Aida cross stitch fabric.



10. FUNNY FAT CAT CROSS STITCH PATTERN FOR BEGINNERS - NEEDLEPOINT KITS - EMBROIDERY - ANIMAL - MODERN DECOR - PDF INSTANT DOWNLOAD -EASY-PT-482

If you have a cat, there is a very good chance it is the boss of the house. This would be a cute picture to hang near the cat’s food bowl. It is a cute pattern for those learning how to cross stitch.


To complete this Where’s My Food, Slave cat cross stitch pattern, you will need 14, 16, or 18 count Aida cross stitch fabric and 3 colors of DMC cross stitch thread.


11. BACON CROSS STITCH PATTERN, CANDY NEEDLEPOINT, MEAT GROUP EMBROIDERY, FUNNY PDF PATTERN, HUMOROUS DIGITAL DOWNLOAD, FOOD XSTITCH PATTERN

Is bacon one of the major food groups in your home? If so, this would be a funny cross stitch pattern to hang in your kitchen. Celebrate your love of this wonderful food with this digital counted cross stitch pattern.


The counted cross stitch pattern is stitched on 14 count white Aida cross stitch fabric. You will need 6 colors of DMC cross stitch thread.


12. BOB'S BURGERS SARCASM CROSS STITCH PATTERN

If you are a beginner, you shouldn’t have any problem stitching this Louise Belcher, I Don’t Appreciate Your Lack of Sarcasm counted cross stitch. Completed, the Bob’s Burgers pattern is 57 stitches wide x 73 stitches high. It is stitched on 14 count Aida cross stitch fabric.



13. DOCTOR WHO, TCOUNTED CROSS STITCH, PATTERN PDF, CROSS STITCH CHART , CUTE CROSS STITCH, CROSS STITCH PATTERN, PIXEL ART. 0127

This fun Doctor Who cross stitch pattern brings a smile to my face. It features the Tardis chasing a Dalek and it is absolutely adorable. The pattern looks super easy, and it is cheap. If you have any Doctor Who fans on your gift list, you can bet they would love to get this finished design. I know I would.


This is a beginner-friendly funny counted cross stitch pattern. The pattern was designed to be stitched on 14 count Aida cross stitch fabric. You will need 5 colors of DMC cross stitch thread. This finished Doctor Who pattern will measure approximately 9.57” wide x 6.21” tall.


14. I'M ONLY HERE TO ESTABLISH MY ALIBI CROSS STITCH PATTERN

Do you watch a lot of true crime shows? Then this funny cross stitch pattern is for you.


To make this I’m only here to establish my alibi counted cross stitch pattern, you only need two colors of DMC cross stitch thread and 14 count Aida cross stitch fabric. The completed design will measure about 9.3” wide x 8.6” high.


15. ASTRONAUT ON A DINOSAUR CROSS STITCH PATTERN T REX EMBROIDERY SPACE GALAXY THEME CROSS STITCH TYRANNOSAURUS XSTITCH KIDS ROOM WALL DECOR

I have absolutely no words for this amazing cross stitch pattern. This wonderful piece features an astronaut riding a dinosaur in outer space.


The funny cross stitch pattern is 130 stitches x 125 stitches. It only requires full cross stitches.



16. HOMER IN THE BUSHES CROSS STITCH PATTERN - FUNNY CROSS STITCH PATTERN - MEME, HOMER BACKING INTO HEDGE.

Here is a The Simpsons cross stitch pattern based on the Homer in the Bushes meme. We have all wanted to shrink back into the bushes and become invisible at one point in time.


This Homer Simpson cross stitch pattern is designed to be stitched on 14 count Aida cross stitch fabric. It is 82 stitches x 88 stitches.


17. WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD CROSS STITCH PATTERN INSTANT DOWNLOAD [CROSS STITCH, NEEDLEPOINT, EMBROIDERY, CROSS PATTERN]

This would make a great gift for a Star Wars fan. This Darth Vader Warning: Choking Hazard pattern is easy to complete.


This funny cross stitch pattern can be used with any color and count of Aida cross stitch fabric. DMC floss colors are referenced on the pattern. If you use 14 count Aida fabric, the final design will measure 7.79” wide x 3.57” high.


HAVE FUN STITCHING UP SOME OF THESE FUNNY CROSS STITCH PATTERNS.