Funny Poop Crochet Patterns
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Every once in a while, the crafting universe gifts us something so wonderfully ridiculous that it demands to be celebrated. Today is that day. Enter the world of poop crochet patterns.
Somehow, some way, the humble poop emoji has become a full-blown crochet icon. There are poop amigurumi ornaments. Poop keychains. Poop plushies. Even a grumpy poop with flies. And honestly, I respect the commitment. If you have ever wanted to combine you passion for crochet with a sense of humor, this is your moment.
What You Can Do With Your Finished Poop Amigurumi
Here are a few ideas for your completed masterpieces.
Give them as gag gifts
Use them as stocking stuffers
Add them to a keychain
Decorate your desk
Place one on a bookshelf and wait for someone to notice
Use them as stress toys
Add them to a classroom prize box
Make a whole family of poops for maximum chaos
Use them as photo props
Gift one to a friend who needs a laugh
Use them as bathroom decorations
Tools & Materials Usually Required to Make a Crochet Poop Pattern
Most poop amigurumi patterns use simple tools and materials, which is part of the charm. You do not need anything fancy to create a swirl with personality. Almost every poop crochet pattern begins with a magic ring aka magic circle and then builds upward with single crochet stitches worked in spiral rounds.
Here are the items you will almost always need when making a crochet poop pattern.
Brown yarn in the recommended weight.
A crochet hook that matches your yarn choice.
A stitch marker to keep track of your rounds.
Safety eyes or crochet eyes for the face.
A tapestry needle/yarn needle for sewing and weaving ends.
Polyester craft filling to help the swirl hold its shape.
Black Embroidery thread for the smile or any extra details.
Scissors for trimming ends.
7 Poop Crochet Patterns That Will Make You Laugh Way Too Hard
These poop crochet patterns are funny, beginner friendly, and surprisingly adorable. They use simple single crochet stitches, spiral rounds, and basic tools and materials like brown yarn, a crochet hook, a stitch marker, safety eyes, a tapestry needle, polyester craft filling, and the occasional bit of embroidery thread.
Whether you are searching for a poop crochet pattern for yourself or an unsuspecting friend, I have included a pattern for you.
Let’s dive into the swirl.
1. Jolly Mr Poop Christmas Ornaments
If you have ever looked at your Christmas tree and thought it needed more personality, Jolly Mr Poop is here to help. This pattern creates a cheerful little swirl with safety eyes and a big smile.
One version of wears a Santa hat, because nothing says holiday spirit like a happy poo pattern dressed for the season. Make a couple of these cuties and you will absolutely confuse your in laws.
2. Grumpy Mr Poop with Flies
This one cracks me up every time. It is a poop amigurumi with a grumpy face and three crocheted flies hovering around it. The flies are attached with thin wire so they look like they are mid flight.
The pattern is beginner friendly and uses basic stitches. It is 12 pages long and includes more than 20 detailed photos. The expression alone makes this a perfect gag gift. It is the crochet poo pattern for anyone who appreciates a little dramatic flair.
3. Poop Emoji Mini Keychain
This tiny poop emoji keychain is only about 9.5 centimeters tall and ridiculously cute. It has white crochet eyes, pink cheeks, and a classic swirl shape. It works up quickly, so you can make several of these in a single afternoon.
Add a keychain ring and you have a portable conversation starter. Or, add a treat to create a Christmas ornament. This is the kind of project that makes people say I want one and also why did you make this at the same time.
4. Poop Plush Crochet Pattern
This plush is soft, squishy, and surprisingly huggable. It uses a plush yarn and a 4.5mm crochet hook to create a chunky, velvety texture. The finished piece is about eighteen centimeters tall and perfect for anyone who wants a bigger poop amigurumi to display on a shelf or toss at a friend.
This pattern is suitable for beginners. You will need to know basic techniques like the magic ring, single crochet, and increasing and decreasing stitches.
5. Friendly Christmas Poo
This pattern features the cheerful poop character, Mr. Hankey, from South Park. He is wearing his white gloves and a Santa hat. Mr. Hankey will always be the holiday mascot you never knew you needed.
The pattern includes instructions for both the figure and the hat. You will use brown yarn, a crochet hook, a stitch marker, felt, a pipe cleaner, a tapestry needle, and stuffing. The finished character looks like it is ready to hand out presents and also maybe cause a little trouble.
6. Easy One Piece Poop Plush
This pattern is made in one piece from the tip down, which makes it perfect for beginners. It uses bulky yarn, a 6mm crochet hook, and simple single crochet stitches. Add safety eyes and a bit of embroidery thread for the smile.
The construction is straightforward and the result is a cute little swirl that works up quickly. If you want a fast, free project that still delivers maximum giggles, this one is ideal.
7. Piece of Crap Amigurumi Pattern No. 20
This pattern leans into the humor with a classic swirl shape and a simple design. It uses worsted weight brown yarn, a 4mm crochet hook, a magic ring, and basic shaping.
The pattern is four pages long and easy to follow. It is a great choice for anyone who wants a clean, traditional poop amigurumi without extra accessories.
Final Thoughts
Poop crochet patterns are funny, fast, and surprisingly charming. These projects use simple tools and materials and are perfect for practicing your amigurumi skills. They also make unforgettable gifts that will get the biggest laughs. Because nothing says I care about you quite like a handmade poop.